By Didas Gasana
History has been unfair to so many a people. From Iraq’s Sadaam Hussein to Uganda’s Idi Amin Dada. Yet those who demonized them are silent about the chaos they created in Iraq. Let me not say the chaos they created in Iran, DRC or Libya through their “democratic” project. Oh yeah, I am back in 3Ds but, unfortunately, I can’t answer all your individual questions. I will instead tell you what I learnt, which partly answers some of your questions.
One thing bad about being perceived as a celebrity is that whatever you say is picked up by some people (adversaries or NOT) even when all you meant was banter. For example, when I excused myself from Facebook in need of recuperation, Al Jazeera thought it prudent to call and ask if I have given up the fight; to which I replied with a firm No. When I just thought a three-minute intervention on a Rwandan opposition party radio, 28 July 2017, couldn’t raise eyebrows; the opponents were all ears and used the intervention to discredit the radio and the party they left. Let me add that that one of the most important people in my life asked me not to post pictures of my children (s) because I am “a public figure”. Because of that, let me warn that this is purely apolitical.
At the center of human existence is the question: What is existence? For what do we exist? For whom? Are we even sure we exist? Or are we harshly judging people without putting ourselves in their shoes?
Well, to make it clear, i have dined with beggars, wined with Presidents, slept with war-lords, sat and interviewed criminal gangs, shared a room with strangers, rubbed feathers with people who pull the strings guiding this world and cross-examined criminals.
Someone will tell that if you have never walked the death valley in the USA, the Danakil desert in Eritrea, never climbed mount Washington, never climbed Sinabung Volcano in Indonesia, never walked Madidi National park in Bolivia or valley of death in Kamchatka in Russia, swam in the world’s largest pool in Chille, never climbed Willis Towe in Chicago, never slept in the underwater hotel in Dubai, then u are a dead walking body.
The other will tell u that unless u become a president, state secretary, own power, then u have ever lived.
Pat limanov will tell you that if you never sat on the edge of the Trotlunga cliff in Norway, never stayed in a water bungalow in the Maldives, never met LRA’s rescued captives, never gone bungee jumping in the New Zealand, never met victims of RPA 1990-1990 war, never stayed in a glass igloo in Finland, never been to Swiss Alps, never attended a carnival in Rio, never met the wrath of Interahamwe, never had lunch at Turkana in Kenya, never drunk at the Oktoberfest in Munich, never seen Nelson Mandela’s indifference in SA, never swam at the edge of the world in Ecuador, never tasted the cleanest water in the world from Melissani lake in Greece, never seen how America fell from grace to grass, never been at the white cliffs in England; then you have much to explore, as much as I do. So, we are at the same wavelength now.
In essence, people have tasted and tested power; and left it, willingly or unwillingly- meaning they have seen both sides of the coin. Muammar Gaddafi and Sadaam Hussein ring right away but history is not kind enough to let us forget many more. And many more are on the way. Many more will have to suffer…….and die…… (to quote Marley).
Back to Adam and Eve. Few will certainly be blessed with good luck when it comes to thinking to be able to grasp this. The gist of it all is that, what might unite us is the title of this post- that Adam and Eve introduced the idea of love into this world. Many talks about what happened after Adam and Eve were cast from the Garden of Eden, even the Christ of Latter Day Saint talks about adam ondi ahman.
“They were the first to grapple, sometimes successfully, other times not, with the central mystery of being alive: being un-alone. Yet instead of celebrating this achievement, history has blamed them for bringing sin, lust, even death into the world. This is the greatest character assassination ever.
The Need for Autonomy.
This, too, is a major theme of Adam and Eve. The two begin life crazy for each other. Eve is “the one” Adam enthuses. But Eve craves independence, wanders off and eats the fruit. Since the biblical text says she gains knowledge with this act, psychologist Deci argues or you, the reader, has a right to think she’s seeking more meaning. “For Eve, eating the fruit appears to be an autonomous choice.” The same applies to Adam, who given the option to eat, chooses companionship over duty. “He makes the autonomous decision to be with Eve,”
Bottomline is only when Adam and Eve could face death alone can they face life together. “Learning to be oneself,” wrote Thomas Merton, “means learning to die in order to live.” Only when they fall from grace can they fully fall in love with each other.
Co-Narration.
The great Swiss child psychologist Piaget coined the phrase “collective monologue” to describe how preschoolers play, meaning they gather together but talk only to themselves. Love is the opposite of this. It’s “collective dialogue.” Two voices construct a shared story.
Creating this shared story – what psychologists call “co-narration” – is the last great quality of romantic love, and the one Adam and Eve are most responsible for introducing. From the moment God divides them in two, they alone are responsible for writing their own narrative. Theirs is the first joint byline.
This need to author your own intermingled experience is the final lesson from the oldest couple: Love is a story we tell with another person. It’s co-creation through co-narration.
And it’s a reminder that sometimes the timeliest wisdom comes from timeless sources. Adam and Eve are the first love story. The story we need today. Stop the blackmail.
Extension
Can Adam and Eve’s story be extended to humanity? Can Clinton and Trump be brought by this infinite eternity? Can Muammar Ghadaffi be reconciled with Appolo Milton Obote? Can Kagame’s soul dance with Rwigema’s in heaven? Can they dance on earth? Can Nkurunziza Pierre extend an arm to Sinduhije? Can Sun Kyii extend an arm to Lia? Can Putin dine and wine with Macron in full faith?
There, gentlemen and ladies, is what I have I been thinking while vacating.